Here’s what frustrates me the most about the publishing industry:  First of all, despite the fact that we live in an era of instant modes of communication, it takes weeks, months, and sometimes years to get basic answers.  For some reason, agents and publishers seem grounded in the 1950’s on a snail mail pace.

Second, most experts agree that breaking into the business keeps getting more and more difficult, and while mediocre mid-listers can hang around for decades, new writers have to offer what’s referred to as a platform.  Simply put, a new writer needs some kind of gimmick to be noticed, like say having been a professional basketball player with pink hair or having written their manuscript while still in the womb, anything that will grab a headline.  The problem with gimmicks is that they are usually flashes in the pan with no real substance.

Third, despite the facts that I’ve received outstanding reviews from numerous independent sources; sat beside Glen Cook on a panel and held my own in a discussion on writing technique; earned acceptance into one of the largest science fiction/fantasy conventions in the country; and have a Master’s degree in creative writing, because I’m an independent, many “professionals” look down their nose at me and don’t take me seriously as a real writer.  Normally, I don’t give a flip what other people think about me; I do my own thing my own way.  But I take great pride in my craft as a writer, and my books deserve respect.

I need marketing dollars; if not for that simple fact, I wouldn’t bother with an agent or a major publisher.  I enjoy being an independent.  I like the fact that I’ve accomplished so much with so little against such horrendous odds.  I’m proud of what I’ve done so far, but I need to do it full-time.  I no longer have the fountain of energy to burn the candle at both ends, and teaching has become a tedious chore.  I’m at a point in my life where I’m tired of working myself weary and banging my head against the wall.  One way or the other, I will find a way to earn a living full-time as a writer because I have no other choice.

www.thirdaxe.com

After Finn was born, I started studying for my insurance license.  My father had taken the exam two decades earlier and assured me it was no big deal.  However, during class, our instructor explained that the current commissioner, who holds a law degree, believed the licensing process should serve as a gatekeeper, and she had the exam beefed up to weed out undesirables.  Studying for and taking that exam was pretty difficult, not to mention a nice chunk of change, but I already had a job lined up and was confident that the investment would pay off.

I can sell.  The sales process comes naturally to me.  In general, people like me; I’m fairly good at reading people; I don’t try to force a square peg into a round hole; and I’m pretty good at applying just enough pressure to create urgency.  I’ve sold advertising, resumes, appliances, cars, and timeshare, and at each job, I’ve been pretty good at closing deals.  But for some reason, the insurance business was not a good fit at all.  I’ve never felt more out-of-place or more out of my comfort zone than during those two or three months I tried to sell insurance.  I don’t want to bad-mouth the people in the industry because my buddy who talked me into trying it is a good person, and I did meet some decent folks in the company, but overall, I felt like I had been dropped into a den of thieves.  The culture oozed the mindset that sales is about what you can do to people not what you can do for them, and that goes against everything I believe in and stand for as a person and a professional.

In short, going to the insurance business was the worst mistake I’ve ever made.  I have not failed at many endeavors in my life, but I can honestly say that I failed at that one.  That was a bleak period in my life: a failing marriage, a career in shambles, one book on the market not doing much, another finished but stuck on the shelf, two children to feed.  I don’t believe I’ve ever felt as hopeless and desperate as I did that Christmas.  It’s an emotional state I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and if there is anyone out there going through something similar, the best advice I can give you is keep fighting, keep pushing, and keep believing in yourself because the dark days do pass eventually.

That’s all for now.

www.thirdaxe.com

Back in the summer, I got to write about the birth of my oldest son, but time got away from me before I could write about the birth of my baby, Finn.  The two experiences were like different lives.  As I wrote before, the eight and a half months of the first were the happiest period of my life; I got to be home and a part of the pregnancy through each trimester.  When Collin was born, we already knew each other and bonded immediately.  It was magical.

With Finn, my marriage was already failing.  We had grown apart as individuals and were no longer happy as a couple.  This was also during the time period when inflation was skyrocketing, despite claims by the mistake from Texas that the economy was doing fine.  Insurance premiums had doubled; energy prices were out of control; a loaf of bread had gone from $.75 to $1.33, like all groceries; the real estate bubble was bulging beyond anything the market could bear.  I was a full-time Assistant Professor of English for a private college and had to work weekends delivering pizza in Pigeon Forge just to survive.  On a good week, I worked seventy hours and had enough money left over to buy premium baby food.  We weren’t living extravagantly either, as I so often hear the right try to spin.  We had a modest apartment in an average neighborhood, a sensible family sedan, and the basic necessities.  Our one luxury was a nice TV, and while we probably should’ve sent it back, looking back, it was a small oasis of pleasure in an otherwise dreadful circumstance.

During the first trimester, my ex-wife developed terrible morning sickness.  That’s truly a misnomer because it lasted from the time she woke until late in the evening.  Most days, she was so sick she could barely crawl out of bed.  For three months, I woke at about 6:30 with the toddler, cooked breakfast, dressed him, did laundry, and chased him around the living room.  Around noon, I left for work.  If I was at the college, I worked until about 10:00 PM, came home, helped get Collin to bed, tidied up the apartment, and passed out around midnight.  If I had worked in the Forge, I drove an hour to work, ran up and down hotel stairs for ten to twelve hours, cleaned the store, prepped dough, drove an hour home, and passed out completely exhausted at about 2:00 AM.  I did that seven days a week for over twelve weeks.  Nothing in my life really compares, not even graduate school on an assistantship.

As an aside, during this time, a couple of the higher-ups at the private college noticed that my performance had slipped slightly.  Not much, mind you, but I did do a sub-par job in a couple of courses.  Despite the fact that I had been required to take on extra courses to cover for two adjuncts who had to resign suddenly, these higher-ups decided that rather than find out why my performance was below normal, they should smack my nose and reprimand me for not pulling my weight.  Anyone who knows my Irish temper would probably expect that I would have erupted on the two bitter, man-hating hags, but I kept my cool and simply withdrew from the college community.  From that moment forward, I did stop pulling my weight.  I served my students, taught my classes, and went home.  I refused to attend meetings, refused to participate in important business, and stopped responding to emails.  I had given them seven years of excellence and was rewarded with a ridiculous reprimand, so I began searching for a new career as far from education as I could get.

Around April, the morning sickness subsided, and I was able to bridle back from eighteen hours every day to a paltry ten.  Seeing a sliver of free time, I did what any writer would in that circumstance: I finished my second book.  Thinking about it now, I’m not sure how I mustered up the energy to write that spring and summer, but in my heart, I knew that if I didn’t get it completed then, I never would.  Other writers, artists, and musicians understand why I poured what little energy I had into the book, but she never could.  She resented me for sitting down at the computer when I got home from work instead of coming to bed, unable to see that the hope of one day seeing a return from the books was the one glimmer of goodness in my career.  Just as the TV was her oasis, Red Sky at Dawn was mine.

A friend of mine, a fellow writer from Virginia, listened to me vent about my frustration with education and convinced me to give the insurance business a try, so through the summer I planned on finishing out the last year of my contract, leaving the pizza place, and becoming an insurance salesperson.  It was a good plan.  My classes with the college were at night, so I could work through the day at the new job, build up a clientele, and still draw a regular paycheck from the school while waiting for commissions to roll in.  The plan itself was solid.

Our due date with Finn was mid-September, but she began having blood pressure issues, so the doctor decided to induce Tuesday morning after Labor Day.  I turned in my notice with the pizza place, worked Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in the Forge, and then spent Labor Day with my family.  Tuesday morning, we got up around 4:00 AM, left Collin with her mother, and drove to the hospital to deliver our second baby.  The tension between us was palpable.   I had worked so many hours and had been absent from home so much that we had become strangers who barely liked each other.  I felt no connection to Finn because I had barely gotten to sing to him or read him stories like I had Collin, and I felt pretty guilty about it.  It wasn’t my fault; circumstances far beyond my control had caused it, but I felt like I had somehow let him down.

The delivery was pretty nondescript.  Our doctor administered the Pitocin, the contractions started, she dilated, and around 5:00 PM he was born.  Unlike the 26 grueling hours of labor with Collin, this delivery was straightforward and drama-free.  We watched a few DVDs on my laptop, tried to have small-talk, and bickered.  The only real drama concerned my class that night.  Both of the people who had agreed to cover it for me backed out at the last minute, so there was no one to start the night.  Our hospital was five minutes from the campus and ten minutes from our apartment.  Our plan had always been for me to pick up her mother and Collin soon after the delivery, so once I had been assured by the nurses that both she and the baby were fine and in no danger, I left the hospital at about 5:45, drove to the college, passed out quizzes, told the class to leave when they were finished, drove home, and hurried back to the hospital.  I was back in the room by 6:30, but she was angry that I had taken the time to go to my class.  To this day, that bothers me.  I had tried to get someone to cover for me, but both of the people who had agreed to do it left me no time to find a replacement.  I don’t feel like I did anything wrong by taking fifteen minutes to take care of my responsibility to my class.

That’s my memory of Finn’s birth.  He’s an amazing child: very bright, incredibly sweet, and truly special in a way that anyone who’s around him notices right away.  One of my biggest regrets is that I haven’t gotten to be more a part of his life.  I love him, and we have a solid relationship, but he has spent more of his life away from me than with me.  One day, I hope to rectify that, and I hope that as he gets older he understands that I love him every bit as much as I love Collin.

That’s all I can say for now.  My heart can’t go any further tonight.

www.thirdaxe.com

During my daily commute, I’ve been listening to a lot of the local sports talk about the Vols.  I rarely call in myself because I’m not interested in making any more of an ass of myself than I already do on a daily basis, but the other day, there was a topic that I really wanted to chime in on.  Since the Florida game, there’s been a lot of talk about the “moral victory” of staying within ten points when the spread was in the 30’s, I think, and most experts were expecting a complete blowout.  On the show, the hosts–whose opinions are fairly solid and usually not too far out in space–were upset with all the hype around the “moral victory.”  Their argument was that a loss is a loss and that to feel good about only losing by ten is not the proper message for a program to project.

I really wanted to chime in on this one because my view of the game has little to do with the final score.  Yes, a loss is a loss, and no one should ever feel good about losing.  A competitor should hate losing with a fervor.  That’ what made Michael Jordan, Dale Earnhardt, Greg Maddux, and Bill Russell so great.  To them, losing was akin to death, and they never accepted it as anything else.  That’s what makes a champion stand out, the attitude and resolve to compete for victory every single moment.

But what makes me proud of the Vols after that game is not that we “hung in there” against a superior foe.  It’s all the things the team did that are an improvement over the previous few years.  Since he won the National Championship in 98, Phillip Fulmer had progressively let his teams get less athletic, less aggressive, less physical, and less competitive.  Most games, it seemed as if they were playing not to lose instead of to win.  Against mediocre opponents, they played down to that level, and against superior opponents, they sometimes quit competing entirely.  One year, at the Peach Bowl, while getting blown out in the game, several of the players were on the sidelines talking on their cell phones and joking around.  The loss didn’t seem to matter.

Last Saturday, the team kept fighting even when it looked like Florida was about to blow the game open.  Defensive guys were still hustling to the ball; the offensive line was still coming off the ball with a purpose; and running backs were finishing runs with authority.  Yes, they lost, but they didn’t quit.  Yes, they made mistakes, but they made them full-speed.  That’s all I want to see from a team, a competitive spirit until the final whistle.  The program still has a long way to go to get back to respectability among the elite college football teams, but for the first time in a decade, it’s heading in the right direction.

And one last thought: Get off of Jonathan Crompton’s back.  The kid is playing hard and doing his best.  Yes, he’s made some mistakes, but he’s a good kid and conducts himself the right way.  He’s on his fourth offensive coordinator and has almost no help from his receivers.  He’ll get better as the season progresses and everyone develops more.  For now, how about supporting the kid just a little instead of throwing him under the bus.

Recently, I came to an important decision about my future and my career.  I’m going to find an agent and attempt to step up to the next level.  For the first three years of this journey, I was uncertain about the quality of my work because of the old demons from graduate school; however, in the last year and a half, the feedback about both books has convinced me that I need professional representation.  It may take some time to find the right person, but I’m going to start the process.

When I first stepped out as an independent, I did so because I needed to have an audience reading my work.  I’m a firm believer that a book is not complete until it is read by a significant number of people, and since I was having no luck earning respect the traditional route, the Type A part of me took charge and got Brotherhood out there.  Now that I’ve gotten my foot in the door and have built a fairly good reputation, I want to reach a broader audience.  The message that friendships and relationships are greater than material possessions is one that needs to be delivered in our society, and there’s only so far I can go on my own.

Also, I know in my heart that I’ve only got a few more years of teaching left in me, and if I want to get out of the classroom and on with my writing career, I need to start seeing real income from the books in the next couple of years.  So I’m looking for an agent, and I will keep looking until I find the right one who gets me as a writer and believes in me.

www.thirdaxe.com

The following is an interview with the artist Christopher Rico.  His works stirs something deep inside me and engages me on both primal and etherial levels.  He’s also a very dear friend:

D. A. Adams – You began your career as a sculptor. Can you describe how you evolved into becoming a painter?

CHRISTOPHER RICO – In those early years, I was using a lot of found materials and playing with all kinds of mediums; copper, aluminum, cloth and driftwood from the [Mississippi] river, because my studio was so close and I would take long walks with my dog down there. I mean, I made things that hung out in space, but they were still essentially paintings. At that time, I skated the line between painting and sculpture. I wasn’t really interested in making things that were freestanding in space, – I wanted to make the space. I didn’t know what I was doing to be perfectly honest, but I have always been attracted to industrial materials and their connotations when used by artists.

I got a few gigs as a set designer; -I had spent time in the theatre in high school and college so it was a natural world for me. I guess I’ve always learned best by doing, and the more I worked in space, -you know, the more I made things to inhabit space, I realized that my concerns were just so much more about playing with surface and people’s perception of the two-dimensional. I felt as though I could say what I wanted to say, or at least explore more fully what was interesting to me through painting. It really just evolved organically.

I think my paintings are somewhat sculptural. I generally use deep stretcher bars, so the paintings come off the wall more than usual. Also, I really try to see the painting from all points in a room and not just head-on. I think we can’t always make the kind of art we think we should make, only the kind that we are meant to. So with that in mind, I think I was always a painter.

 DA – Can you explain your process of painting with your hands? How did you come to use this technique?

RICO – When I decided to start painting I tried using artists’ brushes. It just felt so forced. I had been embracing this world of industrial /trade materials and techniques and somehow using these small little brushes just seemed so precious. The first attempts were disasters. So I went out and bought a bunch of house painter brushes; angles and flats and 4” wide brushes and just went crazy. The feeling of gesture was so much more immediate and real to me with the larger brushes.

I decided to go to graduate school and after many failed attempts to get in I took a couple of years of undergraduate art classes. When all that was over I experimented with the artists’ brushes again, -bought myself some really nice ones. I had obviously developed technique and had some formal training but I still felt stiff using those brushes.

I remember I read “The Road” by Cormac McCarthy, and as a new parent it just freaked me the hell out. I walked into the studio the day I finished the book and grabbed a painting I had been working on for some time and just started flinging black paint at it. Hurling it really. Then I threw the empty can at it, then jars full of terp and finally I just rushed the thing and started smearing the surface with my hands. That painting now reminds me Gerhard Richter’s work, but it was really important for me developmentally. The evolution was slow, it came in ebbs and flows, but by the time I got to the St. Teresa Suite earlier this year, I was already just pouring and rubbing with rags.

I was also painting a lot with my daughters and of course using finger-paints. I would just sit back and watch them and how they approached picture making. I just kept thinking how free they seemed. I tried it on some little post card sized canvas boards in the studio and things just sort of took off.

I feel really intimate with the materials, like how I felt all those years ago when I spent days burnishing my copper surfaces with a wire brush attached to a drill. Watching things react and occur, it’s really magical.

DA – What is your definition of “abstract” art?

RICO – I really dislike that term. The only thing worse is “non-representational.” I am really influenced by jazz music. I like it because it’s essentially a non-narrative form of music; each note is largely based on the previous one. The artists of the 50’s and early 60’s in New York were there when all this music was being made, and they saw it and heard it and were out in it. I think if there is an American-type painting, something really created here, then that is Abstract Expressionism.

I guess I distinguish abstraction in painting from abstract painting. Picasso certainly was abstracting his figures and forms, so was Cezanne for that matter. All painting is to a certain degree abstract. The more one tries to create the illusion of verisimilitude the more technical and abstract it really is, – the more it is really about the materials and not the subject. If you look at somebody like Vermeer for example, if you take his work in stages and look at a painting in its initial phase, he’s just laying down abstract forms that suggest the eventual composition. If you get the chance to see someone paint in the “Old Master’s style”, their paintings look like nothing for so long before the final skeins of detail and depth appear.

I’m steeped in JMW Turner. A lot of people consider that abstract painting, I don’t know, I don’t think he did. I respond to what is going on in the moment on the surface with the materials. I’m not trying to represent a subject or describe a situation or person through fashioning its likeness. Rather, I’m exploring conditions and perceptions and attempting to dip into a collective ethos, -explore mythological imagery. The Forest and the Sea paintings really blew that wide open for me and I think so much of that is scale.

DA – You came to parenthood relatively late in life. How have your daughters changed you, not only as a person, but as an artist?

RICO – Absolutely they have and continue to change me. For one thing, there is the connection to the world and to society that I’ve never really felt. That’s a broad feeling and a big change. But they teach me and I think they keep me honest in my art. I respect their freedom, their abandon in making pictures. I mean, they are obviously not trained, so they don’t possess the ability to discern and then take action based on those perceptions. (That’s why, -no, your kid couldn’t paint what I paint, and neither could mine for that matter, even though it may appear child-like). I feel like I have to preserve the confidence and freedom they feel now. That’s part of my job.

Also, and you know this because we’ve so often spoke of it. Also, looking into their eyes for the first time just made my resolve to not only continue to be an artist but to become successful at it, all that much stronger. It’s scary, wondering about paying for college and weddings and life, but I understood in that moment that this is what I am. This is my Way and I have to be true to that no matter how hard the road is. I want them to see my life as having integrity. I want to show them that they can follow their true path in life once they find it.

I was 40 years old when I became a daddy. So I hit middle age and new parenthood at the same time. It was intense.

DA – Speaking of age, you and I share the experience of being so-called late-bloomers. How have age and experience contributed to your artistic vision?

RICO – People love to talk about Mozart. It’s a compelling narrative, especially in our culture when young people make it really big. Some do. Some have meteoric rises to fame and fortune and their genius is easily seen and summarily exploited. But for every story of someone under 30 changing the world or achieving historical status, there are as many if not more stories of people who find themselves at a crossroads later in life and take the path less traveled.

I could site a bunch of examples: Barnett Newman, Rothko, Louise Nevelson. But I feel like that would be justifying something that doesn’t need to be justified. By art world standards, I’m actually still fairly young. I’m not worried about it.

I think one difference in being older is simply that I’ve lived. I don’t hang on approval, nor am I crushed by rejection. I’ve gone out and gone crazy and been in trouble and won and lost and loved and hurt and so nobody can take anything from me. My work is mature, even though I haven’t been doing it very long. I think maturity can produce mature work. I see that in your writing now as opposed to the writing you were doing when we met in college. That was good writing, but what you’re doing now is really on a whole different level. We both took time off, in a way we’re just starting. But now the whole of our lives is behind our art. So yes, I guess that contributes quite a bit.

 DA – You were raised an Air Force brat. Can you explain how living in numerous states contributes to your art?

RICO – Air Force and then Army. I don’t know, it’s like being part of a tribe. Military kids can spot each other in crowds. Most people grow up in one or two places, -at least they used to. My life was uncommon at that time in this country. I kept having to adapt: every 2 or 3 years a new place, a new school, always the new kid. I think I built a very rich internal life and that still manifests itself in my work.

I spent a lot of time in my room, drawing and reading. I found Dali very early on in life; -he was very accessible to me as a young boy. Art was also a way to navigate constantly changing social situations. I could draw pictures for people in class and then they would like me or not beat me up or give me pot or whatever. I could whip out a copy of an album cover or comic book character in a couple of minutes, so people thought I was cool and talented. But it was boring; I always felt there was something else.

My parents and I didn’t know about fancy art schools. I ended up at a big state university and failed 2-D because the first time I had to get up and present a project I just freaked out and left class and never went back. I was really shy and couldn’t stand being in front of people. I was so used to being alone. I still like the studio because of its solitude.

DA – We’ve had conversations about your disappointment at not being accepted into an MFA program when you made the decision to pursue art seriously. Now that you’ve been productive for many years and are building a solid reputation, has that disappointment dissipated or morphed into something else?

RICO – It will always sting I guess. That feeling of not being “good enough” and feeling rejected by what I perceived as my peers. But I have developed by leaps and bounds on my own. My work doesn’t suffer for lack of that paper. Nobody cares at this point. Sure, I think I get passed over sometimes for not having a degree, but I can’t say it has hurt my career as an artist. I’m selling work, I have a great studio, and I balance work and family. I don’t have tens of thousands of dollars worth of debt cutting into my sales and in truth I never wanted to be a professor. It all worked out just fine.

People sometimes see my work for the first time and ask where I went to school, like it’s a given. So that tells me that I’m on a professional level. Some day I’ll pick up an honorary degree and that will be just as good if not better.

DA – As a “self-educated” artist, can you share some of your artistic influences?

RICO – Modrian, who by the way was also “self-educated.” Turner, as I said. Pollock, we’re all influenced by Pollock; he’s our Picasso, -you have to overcome him. Rothko, Still, Blake, the Spaniards like Velázquez, Goya, I love the painterly-ness of those surfaces. New stuff all the time, Schnabel is actually a big one.

I also read a lot of artists’ writings. So there are artists whose writings influence me, you know, their ideas, even if the work doesn’t thrill me. Frank Stella, for sure. Motherwell, -though I like his work very much, his writing is out of this world. Recently Tworkov.

DA – Outside of visual art, who are your other major influences?

RICO – I’m a fanatic about quotes. I consume movies. I read a lot of history. You could say that I am a student of greatness. So anyone who has been great, that’s an influence. Lots of people for very different reasons but the common thread is greatness. Not always fame or monetary success either. I am really interested in people who changed things.

DA – When we were young students, painfully naive and full of ourselves, we used to discuss creating our own literary movement. Now that we are older, somewhat wiser, and a little more humble, what do you see as our opportunity to leave behind as our artistic movement?

RICO – I want to make significant work that future artists will respond to, perhaps even contend with. Honestly, that’s it. Truly significant work. If other things come with that, fine. Those things are not what drive me. The world of painting is changing right now. I think I am really a part of that tide because I’ve stuck to my guns and followed my vision through the past decade. I just happen to be in that space right now because I never left it. I think we make our own luck. But who knows, right?

DA – Any final thoughts you want to share?

RICO – Trust your visions. Work like hell. Treat other people like you would like to be treated. Don’t deny yourself success because of false modesty or the misguided belief that poverty is noble. Go to the studio. Inspiration is great, but highly overrated. Lots of people have great ideas, but few realize them. Never be afraid to ask; sometimes the answer will be “no” but it will certainly be that if you don’t ask. I’ve been surprised at how much people have been wiling to do for me, -often for free, simply because I asked.

I’m trying to make sense of my life, trying to figure out why it seems that I’m perpetually stuck in catch up mode.  Part of the problem has to do with the state of education in this country, especially after eight years of the mistake from Texas.  I never expected to get rich from teaching, but I did expect to be able to maintain a modest, middle-class lifestyle.  Instead, for my entire career, I’ve been among the ranks of the working poor, earning just enough to disqualify me for public assistance but not enough to participate fully in the system.  Until I got hired at WSCC, healthcare was out of the question.  I’ve had one real vacation in eleven years.  The notion of home ownership is a distant, laughable dream.  My retirement plan is basically work until I drop dead.

The truly maddening part is that all teachers I know, with a handful of lazy exceptions, work as hard as anyone else in society.  A good week is fifty hours.  Most are sixty, and some push seventy.  It takes a real toll on the body.  I fear for the future of society because the situation is only getting worse every year, and most of us are so frustrated by the system, the lack of pay, the increasing impudence of the students, and the futility of fighting against the rising tide of ignorance that many either burn out much too early or slip into apathetic mode for survival.  If something doesn’t change in the next few years, the entire system will implode because no one qualified to do the job would be stupid enough to take it.

www.thirdaxe.com

This has been a brutal week, and I’m simply hanging on for the weekend at this point.  Teaching the dual enrollment courses is far more demanding than I had expected, and I feel more than a little overwhelmed by it.  More than half my time and energy is spent on crowd control, and that is something I am simply not used to dealing with.  Most of my teaching career has been spent with adult learners, and to tell the truth, I got spoiled by their eagerness to learn and willingness to do the work.  Trying to adjust to high schoolers who want to spend each class having social time is draining.

On top of that, I’m trying to get settled back at my old place in Morristown and commuting back and forth from Morristown to Sevierville and then to Seymour and back.  It’s almost too much, and I don’t know how long I can sustain this pace.  The sad part is that many of my students have commented on the strain that’s showing.

Then, as if all that weren’t enough, I haven’t seen the boys for two months, and I miss them terribly.  We still talk several nights a week, but that’s just not enough.  I need hugs and kisses, rough-housing and wrestling, messes and more messes.

Well, that’s enough whining for one day.

www.thirdaxe.com

Because of my role as an educator and a writer of entertainment-based fiction, I’ve long tried to avoid airing my political views in public for fear of alienating both students and potential readers.  However, with the current extreme partisanship over healthcare reform and the subsequent right-wing misinformation campaign, I cannot hold back right now.  Let me say to begin, I’m neither a Democrat nor a Republican, neither conservative nor liberal.  I have always been a free-thinker, someone who looks at each issue as objectively as I can and follow my morals and intelligence when arriving at conclusions.  In most respects, I’m part Civil Libertarian, part Moderate Conservative, part Progressive Reformist.  In short, I’m pretty complex.

I keep hearing people say they don’t want government run healthcare, but what they fail to realize is that we already have that.  On the Federal level, it’s called Medicare; on the state level here in Tennessee, it’s known as Tenncare.  They are both systems of healthcare operated by the government to assist needy people with health coverage, and for the most part, both systems function fairly well, not perfectly, but well enough for those they serve.  The problem is that because of current guidelines, nearly 47 million Americans do not qualify for coverage under these systems because they earn too much money, but these same people cannot afford private insurance because premiums have grown by over 119% in the last decade.  Very few people have seen that kind of increase in their wages.

Personally, I’ve lived most of my adult life without health coverage for precisely this reason.  I like to think I’m a productive member of society.  Since I was 12, the longest I’ve gone without employment is about five weeks, and that was when I was coming out of my divorce and was so screwed up about not having my kids, I had to take some time off.  Much of my life I’ve held two jobs to make ends meet because education pays so little, so I feel like I contribute to society.  However, from all the greed and corruption and waste in our current system, I have been unable to get regular, basic healthcare, and now, in my mid-thirties, I’m starting to pay the price.  Fortunately, I now have pretty good coverage with the state, but you as taxpayers spend over $1,000 a month on my premium.  Thanks, by the way.

Our current system is completely broken, and our current president is trying to fix it.  When I hear someone spew venom about that, I have to wonder what in the hell they are fighting to keep.  Other than insurance and hospital executives, some doctors, and pharmaceutical companies, who is benefitting from the system?  We’re the wealthiest nation on the planet, but nearly one sixth of our population cannot afford basic coverage, and many of us have had to file bankruptcy because of medical bills.  That’s preposterous.  My challenge to the people who are up at arms against the president is to stop watching only Fox News or listening to Rush Limbaugh’s insanity and start reading a few real news articles on the crisis.  Maybe you could even try actually reading the proposed plans for yourself.  You might be surprised to find that most doctors and most legitimate economists actually think that long-term it will be a good solution.  Most people agree that it will have to be streamlined over the next few years and that this will be a long-term process, not a quick fix, but fundamentally, it’s a fairly sound plan that utilizes many of the current conventions of private insurance companies.

At Dragon*Con, I was on three panels and had one autograph session.  My first panel was Saturday afternoon at 1:00 in the Hyatt, where we discussed the roles of religion and magic in fantasy literature.  We covered everything from the ground rules authors must establish for their systems of magic to the mirroring of Catholicism in a fantasy world.  It was an informative and spirited discussion, and the audience was very attentive.

The second panel was that evening at 8:30, also in the Hyatt.  This panel discussed the uses of non-human races within a narrative to reveal elements of human nature.  We discussed why we chose the particular races we utilize, how we make them fresh and innovative, and how we develop their cultures and societies.  One author, James Maxey, uses dragons as his primary antagonists and had some excellent points about how he developed the three races of dragons in his world.  He and I had a lot in common, and I wish we could’ve sat and talked for a while, but it was late Saturday night when we finished.  The other non-human races discussed included zombies, vampires, werewolves, and of course dwarves.  We had a pretty big audience, and the discussion was awesome.

My autograph session was Sunday morning at 10:00 in the Marriott.  That’s how you know you’re one of the lower-tier guests, having your moment in the spotlight before 90% of the attendees have even awakened for the day.  I did have a handful of stragglers wander by and ask who the heck I was, but the autograph session was not one of my highlights of the weekend.  On a side note, if you’ve not been inside the Marriott Grand Marquis in Atlanta, you need to see this place.  It’s freaking amazing.

My last panel was Monday at 10:00, also in the Marriott.  It was an educational panel on incorporating science fiction/fantasy into grade school curriculum to promote literacy.  Without a doubt, this was the best panel of the weekend for me, my two biggest passions rolled together in one discussion.  The audience was entirely comprised of teachers and librarians, and the information we received from them was just as insightful as anything we could offer.  I was most impressed by Davey Beauchamp, an author and librarian from North Carolina.  He had some great stories about developing ways to get kids involved with reading by relating books to their current hobbies.

Overall, I feel like I did well on my panels, and I hope that a few of the books I gave out will be read and well-received.  Only time will tell.

www.thirdaxe.com